when fears are stilled, when strivings cease
// What heights of love, what depths of peace. When fears are stilled, when strivings cease //
Last month, I had a week off. Having time off from work feels both like a blessing and a tremendous responsibility. What to do with so much day?
Sometimes, it feels stressful to have time off. It shouldn’t be, because it’s like receiving a gift of time to make real headway on my projects and goals. It should be exciting and beautiful. However, I feel this immense pressure to bleed every moment dry of any possible shred of productivity. I feel this drive to accomplish a ridiculous amount of things to make the time off worthwhile.
I draft to-do lists that are 2.6 miles long, get up early, and spend long days toiling at projects that quickly become un-fun because I leave little room for grace to sneak in through the gaps of my day. I fill my time with repainting rooms, organizing cupboards, weeding, and checking boxes, and fail to leave time for living and being with those I love.
Maybe you’ve been there, too. In a culture that values the end result far more than the process, it can be hard to see the truth that the in-between matters too. We view chores, books, accomplishments, and even sometimes people as means to an end, and in doing so we miss out on the beauty of the passageways.
In the hymn In Christ Alone, there’s a line that reads, when fears are stilled, when strivings cease. This truth encapsulates what happens when we look at our Savior. In God’s presence, fear is gone. Striving is gone. There is only—indeed, can only be—worship when we look fully at the wonderful face of Jesus. I keep thinking about this.
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease.
As far as my memory stretches, I’ve been a striver. Is that a word? Because if not, it should be. It aptly describes my life. I’ve always tried to be more, do more, and exceed my own and other’s expectations. There this relentless, self-imposed pressure to achieve and accomplish and impress.
Our home is edged with garden beds full of rosebushes, lupines, and peonies. If you were to walk by on the street, you would be enveloped with the fragrant perfume of the summery blooms. In amongst the flowers, however, quack grass is invading with a vengeance. You would be drawn in by the scent of the flowers only to recoil at the unkempt sight of our weed farm. I think life can be like this too.
Too often, we allow superficial things to crowd out what is more necessary. We choose things that are good over the things that are best. Lies begin to sprout like weeds, small and unobtrusive at first, but gradually rooting themselves deeper into our psyches until they feel like part of who we are. We strive harder, straining our backs to sustain heavier and heavier burdens that were never ours to carry in the first place.
But there is still good in the midst of your striving because God is not finished with you yet. Those flowers in my garden still bloom despite the haggard conditions. Not because they are incredibly resilient or strong in and of themselves, but because they are deeply rooted in nutrient soil.
The secret isn’t being in the perfect situation, having the perfect home, or even being perfect yourself. The secret is being rooted in the truth of who you are in Christ. You are beloved. You belong to Him. You might be surrounded by weeds of striving, the lie that you aren’t good enough, or believe that you have nothing to offer. But the situation isn’t the defining factor in who you are. Apart from all of that, you have a God who invites you to come to Him, to be rooted in Him, to let Him pick up all the slack that you’re doing a lousy job of carrying anyway.
God invites you into His presence, where fears are stilled, where strivings cease.
Since we’ve established that “striver” is a legitimate title, let’s pause for a moment. What are some of the symptoms of being a “striver”?
Well, a striver is never satisfied with the work they do, thinking it could always be better. A striver endeavors endlessly to attain perfection. They think that if they could just get their life together, then things will be okay. A striver attempts to push, prod, and manipulate their life into the exact outcome they have in mind. They want to get to the next thing every time they accomplish the “next thing,” never content in the moment.
Theologian Dallas Willard writes, "We must stop shouldering the burden of “outcomes.” These are safely in His hands.”
God's provision for us and for His work through us is adequate. We do not have to “make it happen.” We must stop shouldering the burdens of “outcomes.” These are safely in His hands.
–Dallas Willard
The first time I read that quote, I stopped short. How often do I blame myself when things don’t turn out the way I think they should? How often do my failures spur me on to try harder, to knuckle down and Just Be Better™ so things don’t fall apart next time? How often do I realize I can only control whether I show up and the outcomes are not my domain?
Because in God’s presence, strivings cease.
Productivity is not the goal. Accomplishing great things, even on God’s behalf, is not the goal. Completing impressive to-do lists is not the goal. The goal is God. Just God. He is the means, the end, and ultimately, the very point of our lives.
This isn’t a call to inaction, but it’s a reminder that action or not, you are still beloved. God is still in control. He will never love you any more than He does now. He will never love you any less than He does now.
If you are white-knuckling the day, trying to knock out a bunch of tasks, feeling insufficient and like you can’t measure up, take heart! You are not in control of the outcome. You never were. But there is One who is. He is faithful and more than capable of handling your situation with tender love and care.
Let’s hold on to this truth together, friend. Because we never were enough, and no matter how well we perform or how productive we are, we cannot earn grace. But God is enough. And in His presence, strivings cease.
