Who do you want to be?

habits

May 18

"Our lives are not comprised of the dreams we dream, but of the choices we make." -Dr. S.M. Davis

Who do you want to be?

This simple question has both immediate and future implications. Who we become in the future is a direct result of the decisions we make right now. I recently completed a finance course, and my instructor, Dave Ramsey, stated that "if you want to become rich people, you have to do rich people things." I would argue that the same principle applies to any area of life. If you want to be a good musician, you have to do good musician things. If you want to be a 4.0 GPA student, you have to do 4.0 GPA student things. If you want to be fit, you have to do fit people things.

In Luke, we read "one who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much" (Luke 16:10, ESV). This verse lends further credence to the idea that our choices matter. Even the day-to-day, menial choices we make can have significant impact on our futures. Think of it this way: not brushing your teeth one night when you're tired may not seem like a big deal, but what if you don't brush your teeth for a week? A month? A year? Little choices add up, and eventually the little habits we choose to engage in will provide the foundation for the people we become.

Are the choices you are making right now - today - consistent with the person you want to be in the future?

How Can You Become the Person You Want to Be?

1. Figure Out Who You Want to Be

What kind of qualities do you want to have? What kind of skills do you want to develop? You need a bit of guidance and direction so that you can start investing in your future self! However, the most important thing is to start. Find people you know that you admire and want to be like and talk to them about how you can do what they've done.

Often this question seems very daunting, but it doesn't need to be. Think about the things that motivate you or that you're passionate about, and then think about how those things, skills, or qualities can be expressed in your life. Referring back to Dave Ramsey, what you need to do is decide what you want to be, find people who embody that quality or skill, and then imitate them!

Investing in yourself one of the best choices you will ever make. You only have 1440 minutes in a day. How are you going to use those minutes to better yourself?

2.Set Actionable Goals for Yourself

Once you've outlined who you want to be, you're halfway done. Nevertheless, you must set actionable goals. Figuring out who you want to be will give you direction in setting your goals, but goals are what will get you to your final destination. In other words, figuring out who you want to be is like a railway track that shows you the path you need to take, but your goals are like the train that actually carries you from point A to point B.

One goalsetting system is the S.M.A.R.T. goals method. Try to set goals for yourself using these criteria, because they will maximize your chances of success.

S - Specific (ensures you do what you're aiming to do)

M - Measurable (so you can track your progress)

A - Attainable (it's actually possible for you to do)

R - Relevant (this goal will help you become who you wanna be)!

T - Time-based (give yourself a specific timeframe to complete this goal)

3. Get a Mentor or Coach

Another important consideration is that in order to become your ideal person, you have to have a baseline or standard against which to measure yourself. How can you know what a rich person would do unless you talk to someone who is, in fact, rich? This means that you need a coach or a mentor to help you along. You need someone who will walk alongside you, to talk to you about how to accomplish your goals, and to challenge you or encourage you when you feel like giving up.

I recently listened to a Ted Talk from a very successful surgeon, Atul Gawande, who talked about his own experience in this area. He said that as a beginner surgeon, in the first several years of his career he experienced marked improvement and personal growth in his surgery practice. Gawande gradually became more skilled and had less complications in his surgeries. However, eventually, he reached a plateau where he wasn't improving anymore. He questioned himself as to how he could combat this plateau, and eventually he decided to talk to his former professor. He invited this retired professor to come watch one of his surgeries and critique him. According to Gawande, the surgery went remarkably well, and he thought his former professor wouldn't have anything much to say to him. However, he was surprised to find that not only had the older man found something to critique, he had found a whole page's worth of dense notes, "small things" he had picked up on that he believed Gawande could improve on.

The thing is, Gawande wouldn't have noticed these things himself! Having a coach gives you a new perspective, encouragement, and a challenge to continually improve.

Click here to check out the Ted Talk for yourself!

4. START

This seems fairly redundant - obviously you have to get going to get a result. But it's shocking how often we con ourselves out of doing the things we know we should or even the things we actually want to do! Don't let anything stop you from investing in yourself. Starting right now is the best thing you will ever do for yourself, because time never stops. You can't idle your time away, waiting for things to happen or hoping that your dreams will come true, because if you don't do the work, they won't become realized.

5. Pain is Temporary

I don't know how many times I have to tell myself this. Sometimes when I'm on a run, I'll literally be chanting "pain is temporary" to myself to force myself to keep going. It's almost a mantra for me. Getting over the hurdles is not fun, but IT IS WORTH IT. Don't ever let the struggles prevent you from pursuing the person you want to be.

As a parting thought to encourage you: it doesn't have to be perfect. Life is a process of trial and error, and we can learn from our mistakes. G.K. Chesterton once said that "anything worth doing is worth doing badly". Don't let your fears hold you back from becoming the person you want to be. Be intentional about it. Even if it's awful at the beginning, it's still worth doing because it's important. And guess what? Eventually it'll get easier. Doing your homework might feel like a major pain, but it won't always be this difficult as you begin to understand the concepts. Practicing that piano piece might feel like a drag right now, but when you've finally mastered it, you won't even think about how frustrating those initial practice sessions were.

You don't have to be perfect, but you do have to be intentional.

So, what kind of person do YOU want to be? What kind of things help (or will help) you become that person?

♪ - listen to Viva La Vida by Coldplay.