the beauty of slow
"Return to your rest, O my soul, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.
For You have rescued my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling." Psalm 116:7-8
A very familiar cliché to all of us is "time flies." Oh, how true it is. God has been teaching me to slow down and savour Him, to savour the little moments of each day. Slowing down is something that is so important to me as it is vital to our mental health. Within all the busyness and the fullness of life, overwhelm and anxiety have become seemingly normal in our day-to-day lives.
Coming out of the COVID-19 pandemic many were experiencing an increase in levels of stress and anxiety in addition to the general overwhelm of life. Approximately one third of people reported high stress and anxiety levels! But the levels of busyness and stress were not exactly new then and have not waned since COVID.
There are many reasons why busyness has become such a problem. Sometimes busyness is a byproduct of necessity, where you have to put in extra hours at work just to pay the bills. Sometimes busyness is a result of FOMO, the fear of missing out, or it becomes a status symbol that our time is so full of so many important things. Sometimes busyness is a coping mechanism, when we fill up every waking moment of our days with too much so we don't have time to slow down and think about our loneliness, sadness, or pain. Sometimes busyness is a result of being constantly connected to our family and friends through social media and feeling the overwhelm of trying to keep up with everyone.
Now, there are definitely some unchangeables.
Life is hard.
Life is short.
Life is limited.
Life has responsibilities.
Within Western culture, there is enormous pressure to achieve. We need to be on the go. We need to be all the things, to check all the right boxes.
We are supposed to follow the rules: to graduate high school, go to university, get a high-paying job, buy a house, fill it with toys, have a perfect relationship, have kids, get rich, be successful... the list goes on. And it is exhausting.
But within those unchangeables, life doesn't have to be so busy. We don't have to run at the breakneck pace prescribed by hustle culture. We don't have to buy in to the lie that we need to be busy to have value. We are not merely the sum of what we do.
Culture wants to sign us up in this relentless race against the clock, a race we can't win because time is limited and so are we.
We tire easily.
We are limited in our capacity to achieve.
We are finite. We need sleep, food, water, and air. We can only go for so long at such a crazy tailspin pace before we burn out.
Even the book of Psalms touches on how frail and limited we are:
The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For He knows how weak we are; He remembers we are only dust. Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. The wind blows, and we are gone— as though we had never been here.
We are beautiful, delicate creatures, and we are limited by our finitude. But let me tell you a secret: life isn't a race, and you are not behind.
You don't have to stay busy to "keep up" with others. I believe comparison is one of the biggest robbers of joy and one of the greatest myths we cling to.
How can you compare yourself to someone who is in a completely different season of life? You are not doing better or worse than someone else because you have more or less margin in your life.
Your circumstances are unique to you. The only thing that is the same is the 24-block we each have every day. A newlywed is in a completely different season than someone who has been married for several years and has little kids to take care of. A university student doesn't have the same freedoms as a college graduate who is working their dream job. A homeowner has different responsibilities than someone who rents. How can you "keep up" with someone who has been working in their field for years when you just started? You can't compare your first mile to someone else's fifth marathon. They're not even in the same realm. Allow yourself the grace to start small and slow.
Along with that, allow yourself to be fully in the passageways of life. Those seasons where you are in-between where you are and where you want to be. Take baby steps consistently, and soon you will find that you have learned how to walk, even in the passageway. So much of life involves waiting. In the book of Psalms alone you can find dozens of references to waiting on the Lord. If you are in a waiting season, you are not alone. Don't rush the wait. Life is so short. Be here. Be now. Don't squander your time thinking about what could be or comparing where you're at to where someone else is. Live your life for right now, trusting that God will work things out in His good timing, because He is good.
Good things take time.
It takes time for a gardener to plant and care for a garden. It takes time for the flowers to bloom and the fruit to mature.
It takes time to learn a new skill.
It takes time to develop character, both in yourself and in a child.
It takes time to build meaningful relationships.
It takes time to learn good, healthy habits.
It takes time to get to know God.
You can't rush any of these processes or you will end up with the skinniest, tiniest carrots in the world, frustration that you aren't learning as quickly as you'd hoped, and relationships that have plateaued because you didn't lay the foundation and take the time to learn about and love the other person. You have to go slow. Immediate results and instant gratification are not going to happen here.
Time isn't the only thing required. Good things take time and small, consistent efforts. If you want to cultivate margin in your life, it will take time and consistent efforts. Intentionality is one of the most important tools in your toolbox.
Here are some ways you can intentionally slow down and savour life. Life is beautiful and good if we can slow down long enough to see it!
001. Spend moments in silence with God
I'm going to be honest here. I have long known that being quiet and listening to God is an important aspect of having a deep relationship with Him. However, I never really implemented it until October of this year. If you haven't already tried this, simply set a timer for two minutes, ask the Holy Spirit to open your heart to God, and sit quietly with Him before your devotional time. Be with Him. Be still and listen. If you stick with this habit, you will begin to find yourself feeling more settled and peaceful in your day-to-day life as you find rest and solace in God.
002. Drive in the slow lane (it'll change your life)
Driving in the slow lane has literally changed my life.
I take Hwy 2 to work every day, and let me tell you, it used to stress me out to no end. Then one day I realized that I don't have to drive in the fast lane (go figure). This has taught me several pretty cool lessons.
I used to be so judgmental and frustrated with other drivers who were "going too slow" for my liking. I felt rushed and pressured to keep up the pace so as to maintain the flow of traffic. I was bothered by other cars being where I needed to be to merge and get to where I needed to go. By slowing down and taking the slow lane, I have a lot more grace for my fellow drivers and I don't feel stressed about getting where I need to be.
One of the coolest things about this habit is that I realized driving in the fast lane wasn't really getting me anywhere any faster. I was saving maybe a couple of minutes, but that wasn't really worth the hassle and stress of driving in the fast lane. It also taught me that I don't need to go at anyone else's pace, because their pace won't necessarily be right for me.
003. Practicing Sabbath
Again, I've known that Sabbath rest is important for quite awhile. Sabbath as translated from Hebrew means "to stop." It involves resting from your work and acknowledging that the world isn't going to fall apart if you don't work for 24 hours because you don't hold the world together anyway. God does.
I will write a longer post about this one day, but our Sabbaths involve slow mornings of sleeping until our bodies wake us up, having brunch together, listening to a book of the Bible while cozied up under blankets, and not really doing a whole lot of anything productive. There is no agenda or to-do list. We are definitely still learning how to do this, but it makes a big difference in our week.
Something really interesting happened the first time we practiced Sabbath. I always feel the pressure of time disappearing very heavily. I am constantly aware of the passage of each moment and how fleeting time is. But when we were practicing Sabbath, time felt like it slowed down. I was able to be fully in the moment and enjoy it, and it really felt like we were given a gift of extra time even though it was still the same 24 hour period.
004. Investigate one of the "forgotten" arts that necessitate slowing down
Write letters to people. Embroider. Crochet an afghan. Bake something. Journal. Each of these activities forces you to slow down.
You can't receive an instant response when you send someone a letter.
You can't finish an afghan quickly.
You can't rush cinnamon rolls because the dough needs time to rise.
Journaling helps you reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and experiences throughout any given day. It is such an invaluable daily habit I have cultivated in my life for slowing down to process my day.
005. Disconnect from your phone and social media for awhile
My phone is so quick to derail me from a mindset of slowness. Social media and FOMO keep me connected and checking my messages and feed nearly constantly. If you really want to slow down, disconnect from your phone.
I found this cool app, Minimalist Phone, that allows me to block apps for a specified period of time. I have found this to be so helpful! Often, I will also leave my phone in another room so I can disconnect and be in the moment I'm in without the distractions my phone costs me. Being disconnected from my phone is another important element of Sabbath rest for me as well.
006. Check in with yourself
I have to do this regularly. My family has this bad habit when we're playing games to rush through them. Whenever someone is taking "too long" on their turn, we'll be quick to say "hurry up!"
When I first realized this, I had to check in with myself and ask why am I hurrying? When you start to pay attention to the amount of hurry in your life, you may be surprised where it shows up. I realized that I felt this pressure to get through my work as fast as possible. Somehow I equated speed with efficiency. They are not the same thing. Ask yourself why you feel like you need to rush through whatever it is you're doing. Awareness will help you to slow down and not be in such a hurry. You are a human, not a machine.
007. Do less things
I read a book earlier this year called Essentialism: the Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown. While some of the ideas didn't resonate with me, there is something to be said for the concept of essentialism: only doing the things that truly matter.
We are limited creatures. We can't do everything we want to. We simply don't have the capacity for it. Pursuing only the things that truly matter (and learning what truly matters) will give us a framework for setting boundaries because we cannot do it all. If there is something in your life that you do only because it is the socially acceptable thing to do or because it elevates your status, consider eliminating it from your life in order to slow down.
008. Spend time in nature
God's natural created world can help us slow down. Nature is never hurried or rushed. The seasons pass almost imperceptibly, and yet everything is accomplished in its time. Spending time walking, sitting, or being in nature can help settle our hearts and numb out some of the distractions ever-present in daily life. It also helps us to see the beauty of God as we take in the beauty of His creation.
It's okay for you to slow down. Life isn't a race and you are not behind. You aren't holding the world together with all your hectic efforts anyway, and the One who is can hold you and all that comes your way with the gentlest of hands. Courage, dear heart. He is more than enough so that you don't have to be.
♪ - listen to Road Less Traveled by Fringe Element.
