All or nothing vs. grace

Awhile ago, I had a crazy realization while practicing Db major 7th arpeggios on the piano...

All or nothing type thinking doesn't extend grace to anyone, and it is not conducive to learning from your mistakes. Simply put, you are never past the point of no return unless you give up.

When you make any given situation in your life either a win or lose scenario, the pressure to succeed is enormous. Failure, which is inevitable at some point in life, will weigh you down and discourage you.

You are never past the point of no return unless you give up.

I have been stuck in a mindset of "all or nothing". It's either win or lose. If I fail at something, then I get depressed and start beating myself up and I allow that failure to dictate my emotions - sometimes I will allow that failure to impact the rest of my day or even longer! Then, rather than moving on, I wallow in self-pity, anger, and frustration. This vicious cycle prevents me from learning from my mistakes, because I expect immediate perfection. When I fail to attain my standards, I begin to focus on all of my flaws and shortcomings instead.

This "all or nothing" attitude pervades my life in several ways. Firstly, if I start the day with a bad attitude and eventually realize that my attitude is affecting my actions and interactions with others, I will often just succumb to my misery or grouchiness and allow it to impact the rest of my day. For example, I will justify my behaviour, thinking "I'm past the point of no return now, so I might as well just maintain this attitude for the rest of the day". Or, even if it's not a conscious decision to remain miserable, I won't make an intentional effort to change my attitude or behaviour because I'll get so stuck on whatever is upsetting me I won't even realize what I'm doing.

Second, if I start sinning or doing something I know to be wrong, such as getting angry at my siblings or indulging in lustful thoughts, I just give up for the day. I end up acting on my emotions in spite of knowing them to be negative, simply because I think that "I'm too far gone now to make a change".

God’s grace has no timetable.

In realizing this, I also learned that I need to give myself grace. I need to give others grace. When I mess up or fail, I can choose to sulk, stew, or ruminate on my mistakes, OR I can recognize my failure for what it is, figure out why it happened, and realize that while it may be wrong or terrible, I can learn from it.

Furthermore, and perhaps the most encouraging thought of all, is that God's grace has no timetable. That is, I don't have to wait for a new day to choose a new attitude or pattern of behaviour. God can help me reset my attitudes and behaviours right now.

Mistakes are just one moment. One moment doesn't define who we are. I can take that bad moment, my mistake, or my sin as a reality check to run to Jesus and get His help to change my attitude. Making a mistake is my cue to apologize and get back on track right then and there. A mistake isn't the end of the world - it is an opportunity to run to Jesus.

Hebrews 12:1-3 speaks to this dilemma, where we read,

"Therefore, we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Some versions read "let us fix our eyes on Jesus". In the original Greek, the word "fix" means to "concentrate your gaze, looking away from other things so that you can focus all your attention on one object: Jesus". When we look to Jesus as the one who began a good work in us, we find courage, knowing that He will never leave us or forsake us, and He who began the transformation within us will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6)! Jesus will pull us out of the quagmire of our mistakes with His mercy and grace, and set us back on our firm foundation (HIM), enabling us to continue our journey with Him. It is not all or nothing - it's all about grace.

♪ - listen to Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus by Michael W. Smith.