On Wednesday Night Rhythms, Red Lights + Reframing
I work until 8:00pm every Wednesday night. Oftentimes, the sun has begun its descent into the West by the time I head for home. Light and shadow play across the walls of the buildings and trees I pass, and the streets are fairly deserted. In the darker months of the year, the windows of the homes I pass glow with a cozy warmth that seeps through the panes.
Originally, when I accepted the job, I thought I would loathe the loss of a weeknight. I thought that starting a shift at 2:00pm and going home so close to my bedtime would be earth-shattering and weird. I didn’t think that I would consistently experience one of the highlights of my week on my weekly journey back home.
So, what makes my late Wednesday nights good? Worthy of writing a post about?
My dear friend, Rebekah.
If you read the latest post, you won’t be surprised to learn that I am a huge advocate for good, quality friendships. The kind where you cheer your friends on as loudly as you can, where you can cry without shame, and where you can be open, honest, and real. This is Rebekah in a nutshell.
If you haven’t met her yet, allow me to introduce you! My friendship with Rebekah (aka Bekah) is one of the sweetest things I have in life. And crazily enough, we started out as rivals and adversaries (most of my important relationships started this way, now that I think about it…). Bekah is my dear younger sister, but I look up to her in so many ways. She is wise beyond her years. She seeks to know, but also to understand. She loves Jesus with her whole heart. She isn’t afraid to ask tough questions. She’s also a pun enthusiast and can create a pun out of nearly any situation, which is an impressive talent.
If I were to describe her, I would describe her in memories—picking lilacs in the spring, singing Hamilton lyrics at the top of our lungs, or staying up late drinking tea and laughing together. More recently, these memories have included weekly Wednesday phone calls on my drive home from work. Since Bekah started college and I got married, our relationship has been forced to reckon with the realities of long-distance communication. This change of pace has been an adjustment, to say the least.
I’m not sure exactly when we decided that Wednesday nights would be our night. However, for nearly the past year, I’ve dialed my dear friend as soon as I clock out and start towards my vehicle.
This intentional, weekly commitment to call Bekah and share what’s going on in life is such a blessing. We laugh together. We cry together. We discuss things we’re learning or struggling with. We share what we’re excited about. We tell each other funny stories about our day. Perhaps most importantly, at the end of it all, we pray together, giving to God all the things that we can’t carry alone.
But do you want to know something else? I’ve learned a powerful lesson about reframing my thoughts. Here’s an example:
Before, on my travels to get back home after work, I’d be frustrated by slow drivers and red lights. I was impatient to get home as quickly as possible and I saw others on the road as obstacles to that goal. However, since establishing this Wednesday night tradition with Bekah, I find myself seeing what I once viewed as obstacles as a little gift of time. A red light? That’s 30 extra seconds to talk to my sweet sister! Stuck behind a leisurely motorist? I’ll get home five minutes later than I usually would, giving me five precious minutes more with my friend.
In a way, this reframing of my thoughts has been neurological rewiring, strengthening new neural pathways. When my thought processes change, I am freed to experience things in a new way! I’m still experiencing the same stimuli, but my interpretation of it differs—and I am much more joyful as a result. I think a large reason for this is gratitude.
Are there any obstacles in your life that could actually be little gifts if you slowed down to look at them properly? It’s so easy to get caught up in your self-made itinerary that you bustle past the things that might end up being the most important (if you can’t see me right now, I’m at the front of the room with my hand high up in the air, because I am so guilty of this).
So, friend. Are there any situations in your life that need a second glance? A slowing down to realize that maybe you don’t have to get to the next point for things to matter? Here, in the inconvenient messiness of everyday life, hear the still, small whisper of Jesus: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Not in some distant future, not to some version of yourself that loves God as you should, not when you figure things out… Jesus’ invitation is for the situation that you find yourself in at this very moment.
And if you don’t have a friend that you can call up regularly to confess to, confide in, and cackle with, maybe it’s time to be the invitation to someone else and start developing a deeper friendship.
After all, friendship sweetens life.
Friendship spurs you to keep on going when things get difficult.
Friendship can even make you grateful for things you once saw as a hindrance—like red lights and slow drivers.
