enough for your moment of need
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” —2 Corinthians 12:9
I tend to get distracted and focus on my situations instead of on the One who is holding my situations in the palm of His hand. I’m like Peter on the Sea of Galilee. He boldly asks Jesus to let him walk on the water towards Him, but as soon as he steps foot out of the boat, he loses sight of the Lord and starts to sink.
There’s nothing like trying to coordinate a youth retreat and minister to the needs of others that magnifies my weaknesses and total dependency on God. Ironically, this is also the kind of scenario where I tend to lose sight of the Lord and start to sink. Just like Peter, the wind and the waves fill my vision, crowding out what I really need to see.
Our youth team was planning a retreat for our youth kiddos a few months ago. Now, I love planning as much as any type-A girlie, but this particular time of life was chaotically full. I wasn’t sleeping enough, our weekends were booked with all sorts of events, and I didn’t feel I had enough margin to properly coordinate the retreat. To top it all off, Lars and I had just attended a leadership conference with our church, where God had shown me some pretty selfish, egotistical tendencies I had, so I was feeling pretty unqualified to lead a youth retreat in any capacity. I was spending less time with God because I felt insufficient and overbooked, which only served to perpetuate the cycle.
Lars and I arrived at the camp on Friday night, car loaded with supplies and exhaustion levels high. As we unpacked and settled in, I realized that I’d forgotten to bring the treat bags I’d prepared for the kids and I’d forgotten to text reminders to the families that the retreat was this weekend. I felt like a failure and a fraud. You call yourself an organized human? You think you can do anything good here? You think your efforts matter to God when you’re not seeking Him the way you know you should? The lies were coming thick and fast, obscuring my vision with waves of doubt, insecurity, and shame. I went through the motions that evening, pretending to care about the games, interacting halfheartedly with the youth, and singing worship songs with a downcast gaze. The turmoil in my heart drowned out the gentle beckoning of my Savior.
BUT GOD. The best six letters I’ve ever penned.
But God met me there. Just as Peter learned over 2,000 years ago, Jesus immediately reaches out His hand to catch me when I call to Him for help.
Saturday morning, I was sitting in the empty chapel, palms open. God, help me! I pleaded. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want things to be like this. I can’t do this. Oppressive radio silence filled the room, and my despair deepened. Finally, I opened my Bible out of habit.
At the time, I was reading through Exodus. The 10 commandments and instructions for building the Tabernacle had been my morning musings of late. But this morning, the words were different. Exodus 33 gives us a glimpse into Moses’ humanity and feelings of insufficiency and confusion.
Then Moses said to the Lord, “See, You say to me, ‘Bring up this people.’ But You have not let me know whom You will send with me. Yet You have said, ‘I know you by name, and you have also found grace in My sight.’
Now therefore, I pray, if I have found grace in Your sight, show me now Your way, that I may know You and that I may find grace in Your sight. And consider that this nation is Your people.”
Tears slid down my cheeks. This was exactly how I was feeling. Confused and insufficient. These youth kids were God’s people, and I was not equipped to lead them. I didn’t know how to move forward. But God did. And His response to Moses brought a fresh flood of tears.
And He said, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”
In my moment of need, God brought me to the words I needed the most. I wasn’t alone. I never was alone. God was with me. My heart caught on the word rest, what I so desperately craved. Could this be true for me, too? The passage continues,
And the Lord said to Moses, “This very thing that you have spoken I will do, for you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name.”
Not only did God know Moses by name, but by extension, He knew everything about him. God knew Moses’ weaknesses, his strengths, and his needs. God knew what Moses feared most. He knew how much Moses doubted Him. He knew how much Moses wanted to see God and serve Him alone.
The same goes for you and I. God knew everything about me that morning in the chapel at camp. He knew how insufficient I felt and how insufficient I truly was, even more than I did. He knew that I was discouraged. He knew that I was struggling. He knew what I needed.
Moreover, God knows everything about you this morning, afternoon, or evening. He knows how insufficient you are and He holds no delusions about your sufficiency. He knows that you’re discouraged. He knows what you’re struggling with. And He knows what you need.
Because our God never changes, this applies to us today. He knows what you’re struggling with in this very moment. He knows your hopes and dreams. He knows your weaknesses. He knows the secret thoughts you have that fill you with shame and self-loathing. He knows every detail about you and He loves you. He gives grace sufficient to sustain your every moment. He sees you taking those first, faltering steps out of the boat, walking towards Him in faith. His presence goes with you, and He will give rest to your weary soul if you but turn to Him.
Even though I don’t deserve it, He thinks on me. He provides what I need before I even know it. He reaches out His hand, steady and strong, for when I’m floundering in the waves. He catches me and lifts me up in arms that never falter in weakness.
This didn’t mean that the youth retreat went perfectly from here on out and that we had a revival at the camp. But it did mean that I released the burden of the outcome into God’s capable hands. A line I’ve often referred to these past few months comes from the hymn In Christ Alone. Very simply, it reads, where fears are stilled, when strivings cease. Like Peter, keep walking towards your Savior, because He will always supply enough for you.
In God’s presence, there is rest for your weary soul. There is enough for you, friend. There’s enough for your moment of need. And the supply never runs dry.
