more often than not: beyond the consistency of mushroom soup

What consistency is, what it isn’t, and three things to keep in mind to cultivate consistency in your own life!

Picture this: you’re opening a can of Campbell’s mushroom soup for the first time in your life. You pull off the lid and peer at the slimy, grey mass inside. You’re a little grossed out, but you’re hungry, so you’re willing to overlook the colour and get cooking. You tip the can upside down over your pot and shake. The soup wobbles a little, but nothing happens.

Even more disturbed, you retrieve a spatula from the drawer and start digging. Eventually, after adding some milk, heat, and a brisk whisking, the soup starts to resemble soup rather than a gelatinous blob of grey matter.

Consistency matters. You might not be able to tell from this example, but I actually am a fan of mushroom soup when prepared properly! However, when straight out of the can it is mildly alarming, to say the least.

Consistency matters. Not only in terms of the texture or quality of food, but in terms of personal character. As defined by Chris Drew, consistency is “the ability to maintain a set pattern, behavior, or approach over time. It signifies reliability in actions or outcomes.”

Consistency is the ability to maintain a set pattern, behavior, or approach over time. It signifies reliability in actions or outcomes.

Consistency matters. If you want to accomplish your goals, have healthy relationships, move forward, or even learn something new, consistency will need to play a critical role. But consistency doesn’t have to be a scary buzzword or condemn you as a failure either.

What consistency isn’t:

Consistency doesn’t mean that you never mess up.

Consistency doesn’t mean that you do something 100% of the time.

Consistency doesn’t mean that when you choose not to do something (or you forget) that you’re disqualified and can no longer try.

What consistency is:

Consistency means that you pick yourself up and dust yourself off after a failure and continue plodding slowly down the road.

Consistency means that while you don’t always do the thing, you do it more often than not.

Consistency means that you are committed to progress, no matter how imperfect or slow it may be.

Consistency means you show up and show up and show up even when you don’t want to, even when it’s hard, even when you’re discouraged and feel like showing up isn’t making a difference.

Your Consistency Fieldnotes:

Back to the analogy of the soup - consistency is not something that is achieved quickly. You have to add things like milk and heat. You have to whisk the soup to break up the chunks. You have to wait for it to warm up.

In your quest to be consistent, you will have to add things to your life. You will have to eliminate things that are not serving you. You will experience pressure to give up. There will be days when you feel like quitting because progress isn’t visible yet. Here are your fieldnotes to help push you forward:

#1. Consistency is not glamorous

Just like a simple can of mushroom soup, grey and lumpy, consistency does not look great or admirable when you first start out. You will not make progress overnight. I cannot stress this enough - you have to start small! Allow yourself to redefine what success looks like in whatever area you want to pursue.

If you want to start journaling, instead of committing to writing a whole page everyday, commit to writing one or two lines.

If you want to start cooking healthy meals, instead of aiming to cook a healthy meal every day of the week, start with one day of the week.

If you want to start reading more, start by reading 10 pages per day.

It doesn’t look like progress on paper because it’s small, but small habits add up. Tiny snowflakes accumulate to create a huge snowdrift.

Give yourself grace. You’re building new muscles, so you have to take it slowly and work up to bigger and better things!

#2. Let your goal be “more often than not”

While consistency is something that is sustained over time, some is better than none. Instead of requiring perfection of yourself, let your goal be to do the thing more often than not.

To write in your journal more often than not.

To go for a walk more often than not.

To encourage someone more often than not.

As you perform these actions consistently more often than not, you will find it getting easier. Your “muscles” will grow, as will your consistency in maintaining your habits.

#3. Cultivate companionship instead of comparison

People are designed to function best in community. It’s no accident that social isolation or solitary confinement wreak havoc on the human mind and psyche. If being isolated and alone can cause such devastation, the opposite is that much good can be accomplished in community!

Invite other people into your life. Share your goals and dreams with a friend. Spur one another on. Cheering loudly for someone else does not mitigate or deny your own wins - it amplifies them!

A dear friend shared a Danish proverb with me many years ago, and it has stuck with me ever since. It says that shared sorrow is divided sorrow and shared joy is doubled joy. Inviting someone into the process makes consistency that much easier because when you don’t feel motivated, you will have someone who is in your corner cheering you on.

Accountability is such a game-changer! On days when I don’t feel like working out at all, Lars is there to remind me that even a 10-minute workout is better than none. He writes workout plans for me. He will do the workout with me so I don’t have to motivate myself. He will cheer me on while I’m struggling through it. Having him there to encourage me is often the difference between doing the workout or taking the easy way out and skipping it.

So consider this your encouragement to dig in and make those changes you've been avoiding. Or maybe you’ve started and are finding it difficult to keep going - that’s okay, too! Change your mindset to be “more often than not” and keep going even when it feels lame. Partner with a buddy and encourage one another to stay the course.

I’m rooting for you, friend! You can become more consistent by taking things one step at a time!