becoming

Doing something once is not so difficult. It’s easy enough to go for one run, to skip one dessert, to read one book, or to invite one person over for dinner. You aren’t required to put your name on a signup sheet to show up at community function just once. You don’t have to commit to anything if you’re just trying something out. If it works, great. If it fails, it doesn’t matter.

Or does it?

Maintaining a habit or a pattern over a period of time requires a lot more—more effort, intentionality, and sacrifice. Consistency is hard. Becoming is not an overnight process. Some caterpillars take months to become butterflies!

When I first started blogging in 2019, I was not consistent. I posted sporadically, whenever I felt like it or had the time. It was not often that both of those criteria aligned. Back in October of 2023, I decided to get consistent and be intentional about posting on a regular basis. At first, it was fun and exciting. Showing up every week to write and share the words on my heart was easy. Friends, family, and strangers would email me to let me know how much they were enjoying the posts. It was exhilarating, to say the least. Growth felt tangible and possible.

Then, gradually, the novelty wore off. People got busier and read my words less. Pulling out my laptop to write sometimes felt a bit ridiculous—why write words that people aren’t reading? The question probably every writer asks themselves at one point or another.

One blog post was great—people get thrilled about something new and they love to be entertained. But what happens when you get consistent and it becomes humdrum and normal? Weekly blog posts can get overwhelming if you fall behind. What if it no longer excites the way it used to?

Please don’t read me wrong here. I’m not trying to complain. I love sitting in our living room with late afternoon sunshine pummeling through the panes as I type. I love drafting emails of encouragement to remind subscribers that there is still hope and light up ahead regardless of what the week looked like. I love sharing what I’m learning. My mindset is shifting to write for an audience of One and to allow God to take the pieces I share and fit them where they need to be.

So hear me when I say that I’m not complaining about the lack of response or excitement over my writing (I have an amazing support team who encourages me relentlessly). What I’m trying to say is that often, being consistent is not glamorous. It’s not eye-catching or attractive to the world at large. Where we as humans tend to want things to be bigger, better, and speed toward things at a tremendous, unsustainable speed, consistency beckons us to slow down and plod down the road, one step at a time.

If you’re struggling with consistency, you’re not alone! I have several rhythms that have completely fallen by the wayside for the month of August, namely taking my supplements and going on jogs. As I wrestle with consistency, I realize how developing and maintaining my own healthy habits helps me empathize and care more for others. That is what keeps me pushing on towards the light on the horizon.

Here’s the deal, friend. Consistency is hard. Showing up is hard. But having people who are there for you makes all the difference. And sometimes the encouragement from a trusted pal is enough to spur you on when things get tough.

So why does any of this matter?

Well, the process of becoming has taught me two things. The first is that becoming takes time. The second is that I can be what I wish I had during my own period of growth. I want to focus on the second principle: becoming what you wish you had.

When I started blogging, I was naive. I believed that growth would happen overnight. I was convinced that I would write a book with no trouble. I thought people would go gaga over the things I wrote and I would have a little (or big) fan club… arrogant, I know. It’s okay, you can laugh with me. It was silly.

Buuuut, the process of being consistent and showing up and chasing my goals day after day after day helped me realize a few things: that I can’t do this alone, that encouragement is vital, and that cheerleaders are underrated.

Eventually, it dawned on me: I can become what I wish I’d had.

You can cheer others on as loudly as possible by sending encouragement, commenting on their posts, sharing their work, and championing them as much as possible. Sharing your creative work is vulnerable. It requires soul-baring vulnerability in the form of art, words, or even a carpentry project. When someone comes alongside you and tells you Hey! I Love This! it inspires, motivates, and quite often is a pivot point to keep doing the thing.

As I started to share more of my writing, I began to realize how necessary encouragement and support are to the creative process. I learned that most of the time, regardless of how something touches someone, they don’t express it and the lack of response can become discouraging. However, experiencing this for myself provided me with a platform to recognize similar patterns for other creatives and offer support and encouragement wherever I could!

You can become the invitation that you crave by hosting a simple dinner party, organizing a Pride & Prejudice-themed afternoon, or asking a friend out on a tea date. Too often we allow our fear of “not being good enough” to prevent us from sharing life with the people around us. Spoiler alert: others are craving connection and community just as much as you are and they will be delighted to spend time with you. Sure, not everyone will be there every time, but don’t let that stop you from extending the invite as often as you can!

I have a dear friend, Kenzie, and she is so good at invitations. There were years when she would send me invite after invite and I kept declining. She could have easily given up on me after all the times I told her no. But she kept asking. She kept showing up until eventually, so did I. You can be that person for someone, too. Remember, consistency is not glamorous and it doesn’t always feel good. But it is a worthwhile pursuit that will shape your character into something beautiful.

You can bless people with uncommon kindnesses by dropping off dinner for a busy family, gifting a stranger a bouquet of freshly picked flowers, or mailing gift cards to your friends on their birthdays. It doesn’t have to be expensive to be good. You don’t have to wait—you can do all the things you’re dreaming about now! I used to be so paranoid that people would think I was weird to extend kindness, but I’m slowly overcoming that fear and it is blowing my mind. Small things done with great love are the true revolutionary acts this world needs.

In sum, you are a work in progress. You aren’t finished yet. You have life, and breath, and being. You are still here and you are in the process of becoming. Within that beautifully slow practice of becoming, you can be what you wish you would’ve had. You can be consistent and spur others on to consistency themselves.

After all, we are all becomers, and we can’t do something like this alone.